My angel got his wings 08/02/07

This online memorial was created in loving memory of Joshua Maddox, whose life story is told throughout this memorial website.

Joshua came into our lives on May 30, 2007. He was welcomed by his big brother Michael and his big sister Kayleigh. His daddy and I were very happy to have our sweet little boy here. He was a happy heathy baby. Only cried when he was hungry. He loved to be held by his Mommy and no one else ...everyone said I had him spoiled but I think he knew he wasn't going to be here long and he wanted to be held all he could before he was called away. The worst day of our lives came on August 2, 2007 when I woke up and found Joshua unresponsive and cold and I just knew my baby was gone. I screamed for his daddy to wake up, he dialed 911 and did CPR. All I could do was scream and cry. It was like I was watching it happen to someone else, like a dream, well make that a nightmare....that hasn't ended and I want to wake up from. I knew when we arrived at the hospital and they sent us to the "family room" it wasn't good. They finally came in and told us there was nothing they could do and after the coroner finished his investigation we could see him. I felt like I was going to die. I wanted to die then I would get to see my Joshua again and hold him. It seemed like an eternity before they let us in to see him. When I saw him he was looking bruised and they wouldn't let me hold him, we could touch him all we wanted but just couldn't pick him up and hold him. I think what hurt me the most was I didn't get to hold my baby boy and I can't hold him anymore. The funeral was horrible I can't beleive how hard it was to see my baby boy laying in a casket. He didn't look the same he was real swollen and puffy. But again we could only touch him, we couldn't hold him and now my arms ache to hold my son again. I have prayed to God to please let me just hold him in a dream. But my prayer has gone unanswered.......just like my question of why MY healthy baby boy...Maybe one day I will have the answers I am looking for and my prayers will be granted. But until then I am missing my baby boy everyday and waiting to see him again. He was our miracle baby because I was taking the pill and got pregnant with him. So his daddy and I had determined that he was meant to be, a gift from GOD himself, if I was allowed to get pregnant on the pill. But now it hurts so bad because GOD took away our miracle. There is not a day that goes by that we don't think about him and miss him. I still feel numb and have cried a million tears. We have so many questions and no answers seem to come. It is hard to understand why you , our baby, died. Daddy tried so hard to save you but nothing could be done.

My sweet baby boy that we really never got to know, it's hard for us to let you go. We wanted you so bad and had so many dreams for you. We think of smiles we'll never see. We think of events that will never be. There will be no first steps and no first teeth. No first Halloween or Christmas. There is only a big void you left in our lives and hearts. And our own grief.

Now they have determined it was SIDS and all that means is a healthy baby died for NO reason.....which hurts even more and leaves more questions unanswered.......I love you Angel Josh and miss you so much every day...

There's a special Angel in Heaven that is a part of us. It is not where we wanted him but where GOD wanted him to be. The angels called him much sooner than we planned, we'll brave the bitter grief that comes and TRY to understand..... GOD, take our child into your loving arms, Bless him always and bless us too. Be with us and help us to make it through.

He was here but just a short time. And though he is in Heaven he isn't very far. He touched the hearts of many like only an Angel can do. I would have held him every minute if the end I only knew. So I send this special message to Heaven up above. Please take care of our Angel. And send him all our love and tell our angel how very much we miss him & we love him & we will see him again someday.

Please sign Joshua's guest book and let us know you came to visit. We will remember Joshua forever.

IF I COULD HAVE A LIFETIME WISH A DREAM THAT WOULD COME TRUE.

I'D PRAY TO GOD WITH ALL MY HEART FOR YESTERDAY AND YOU.

A THOUSAND WORDS CAN'T BRING YOU BACK; I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE TRIED.

AND NEITHER WILL A MILLION TEARS, I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE CRIED THEM.

YOU LEFT BEHIND MY BROKEN HEART AND HAPPY MEMORIES TOO,BUT I NEVER WANTED MEMORIES I ONLY WANTED YOU.

MOMMY AND DADDY'S LITTLE TIGER WE MISS YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY

A heart of gold stopped beating. Two shining eyes at rest, God broke our hearts to prove He only takes the best.

Only God knows why you had to leave us!

But you did not go alone for part of us went with you the day He took you home!

To some you are forgotten, and others just a part of the past, but to us who have loved and lost you the memory will always last.

You will always BE WITH US! AND WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!!!!

A CHILD'S ANGEL

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God: They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?

GOD: Among the many angels, I chose two for you. They will be waiting for you and will take care of you.

CHILD:But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy.

GOD:Your angels will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.

CHILD:And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?

GOD:Your angels will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angels will teach you how to speak.

CHILD:And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?

GOD:Your angels will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.

CHILD:I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?

GOD:Your angels will defend you even if it means risking their own life.

CHILD:But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.

GOD:Your angels will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly:

Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.

Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: Mommy and Daddy

On the day God took you, I thought that I would die. I wondered where the time went? I asked alot of WHYS????? With people all around me I felt so alone inside, from all their words of comfort. I couldn't seem to hide. I thought I might be dreaming that I'd wake and find you here. I thought "this can't be happening" as I wiped another tear. On the day you were laid to rest my heart broke yet again, I wondered if the pain would end. But mostly I wondered when?? It's hard to be without you, at times the days seem long, sometimes I just sit crying, when there is really nothing wrong. I wish we'd had more time before your life was done. My heart, it broke and it will never heal. I hope your resting peacefully my precious little one. A million times I have needed you. A million times I have cried. If love alone could have saved you, you would have never died. In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a special place, that no one will ever fill...... WE KNOW HE IS IN HEAVEN; AND SOME MAY FIND COMFORT IN THIS FACT.....BUT PLEASE FORGIVE US JESUS, WE JUST WANT OUR BABY BACK!!!!!